Silicon Valley Dating Wisdom: Building A Romantic Empire Within

Cofound your dream relationship

Congratulations! You’ve picked up a copy of the latest Silicon Valley dating advice. Everything you need to know about having a deeply fulfilling relationship can be found in the next eight chapters. For convenience, we’ve extracted highlights and summarized the key points of each chapter in this table of contents.

Chapter 1: Beginnings. You and your partner are “co-founders.” You should start referring to each other as such. Finding the right cofounder can be an arduous task, adding more co-founders down the line is also a possibility but shouldn’t be done without plenty of discussion.

Chapter 2: Metrics. Before committing in any serious fashion, spend a while discussing what metrics you think are important to your relationship. The difference between counting the total vs. the average number of joint social media likes/hearts can be very consequential. Remember: you’ll get what you optimize for.

Chapter 3: Measurement. Use fitbits or apple watches to track how much time you spend physically close to each other. Time each other to see by how many minutes you each run late.

Chapter 4: Date-night ideas. Communicate by touch. Write a script to analyze the fitbit data when you “communicate by touch.” Overcharge each other for coffee.

Chapter 5: Communication. Remember to check-in once per quarter by asking your partner where they see themselves in five quarters. Use FeelMe, a sharing-feelings-economy startup to facilitate serious discussion. When you open the app and request a ride-duration, a car will come to your door. Driven by a person trained in Non-Violent Communication, you and your partner(s) will get in the back, and now you have a preset amount of time during which you can resolve things that need resolving. Surge pricing during the holidays applies.

Chapter 6: PR. How to get into the NYTimes Wedding Announcement section.

Chapter 7: Kidlings as New Hires. Kiddo KPIs, How to schedule one-on-little-ones, running an efficient family all-hands, etc.

Chapter 8: Recommend Reading After You Finish This Book. Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Neural Network; How to To Improve Your Relationship By Becoming a Yoga Teacher; and Competitive Meditation: An Overachiever’s Guide.